Adventures in Parenting

Because I am not a parent who believes in outside products to teach my children the lessons that I think they should learn, I am not one to find and recommend the top three, five or ten.  What I am able to provide is three of the “must have” abilities for anyone thinking of or already are a parent.  These abilities are extremely important but they are by no means the only ones that parents should possess.  Why they are more important than most of the others is that these abilities, if taught and learned by the child, will dominate their existence for the rest of their lives.  These abilities will repeat themselves over and over again.

The first ability is patience.  Easily said but hard to maintain especially if you are a single parent and have to wear so many hats or you are facing so many outside issues that they seem to occupy every single minute of your day.  Patience appears painful but it is far from it.  Patience is a slight smile while your child is showing you what he/she learned today.  It’s really a few minutes out of your day that could not be better spent.  It’s tilting your head instead of yelling.  It’s quietly asking your self where the child inherited this talent or desire to action from while he/she are performing.  It’s looking at them and trying to remember how you were at that age.  Patience helps you forget about what may be bothering you before the child called your name and concentrate on something lighter and brighter for just a little while.

The second is the ability to laugh.  Nothing makes a child feel better than knowing that they are pleasing to the parents and when I say pleasing this does not mean doing every thing you ask of them as soon as you ask it.  Pleasing means to be able to bring a smile to your face and laughter to your day.  You need the ability to laugh because some of the actions performed by those funny looking people in your house are inherited directly from you.  So that little alien that pulls your hair at night is actually no little alien at all.   The ability to laugh works closely with clapping when they complete their performance or do something that makes you proud.   Clapping makes them appreciate you and strive not to disappoint you in any way.  Having the ability to laugh reduces the time needed for corporal punishment because now just saying how disappointed you are may work even better.

The third must have is time.  When we say time many believe that we speak of an 8 hour work week but it’s not.  Time can be as long or as short as you wish, but it must be quality.  In other words, when you child calls your name and you respond, their time begins then and if you listen to their request, repeat it to make sure you heard them right, then answer or respond to that request, that’s all the time that we are speaking of.  If you dismiss the child without listening to them, you have just done something that it will probably take years to undo.  You have just made that child feel unimportant and imagine your boss ignoring you when you attempt to have a conversation with them.  Time does not mean 24 hours a day/7 days a week, time means making the best of “hey mom or dad” when it comes around.  Making time now for “hey mom or dad” is much better than regretting it later after they are no longer calling your name.