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Showing posts from August, 2014

How to Recover from or Prevent another Failed Relationship

So many of us often wonder why a relationship that we thought would last forever fail and many times we are quick to point the finger at the other person instead of seeking the solution from within.  Here’s a suggestion on how to recover from or even prevent another failed relationship.
First we need to embrace the fact that the only person we can fix is yourself.  Once we are willing to accept that premises, then we can honestly does a better job of self-reflection or what some call soul-searching.  If we are able to do this, concentrate on the mistakes we made in the relationship.  Owning our mistakes allows us to make the necessary changes which will help us become a better person and avoid these same mistakes in the next relationship.  Ever notice that the mistakes made in one relationship seems to follow us into others and soon we begin to create of pattern of broken relationships mainly because we failed to make the changes that we know was ours to make.
One of the main reasons so…

NFL Domestic Violence Policy, a Three Sided Coin

Many news agencies are applauding the new stance that NFL (National Football League) Commissioner Roger Goodell has taken on domestic abuse by members of this organization and while I can clearly see why, there are still two other sides of this coin that seems to be lost in the conversation.
In his article titled “N.F.L. Domestic Violence Policy Toughened in Wake of Ray Rice Case”, Ken Belson wrote “In a rare mea culpa, N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell said Thursday that he had mishandled the Ray Rice case, in which the Baltimore Ravens running back was suspended for two games after being accused of assaulting his fiancée.”  “My disciplinary decision led the public to question our sincerity, our commitment and whether we understood the toll that domestic violence inflicts on so many families,” Goodell said in a letter to team owners. “I take responsibility both for the decision and for ensuring that our actions in the future properly reflect our values. I didn't get it right. Simp…

High Speed Police Chases good for Television bad for reality

Finally, a leader of law enforcement has made policies and decisions which safeguard the lives of the innocent residents.  The local TV station WREX reports that because of “Last week's high speed chase that ended with the death of Rockford resident Karen Williams has once again put this tough decision in the spotlight. Winnebago County Chief Deputy Kurt Ditzler says high speed chases are usually no-win situations for the cops.  Ditzler says the Winnebago County Sheriff's Department has a very restrictive pursuit policy.  Ditzler says the sheriff's department does not chase vehicles involved in routine traffic violations. He says chasing a criminal suspect vehicle depends upon the severity of the incident.”
This is very nice to hear because there are so many other ways to trap a fleeing suspect and capture him/her in a more safe way than a high speed car chase.  Imagine the dispatcher positing officers at key intersections and positions to await the arrival of a fleeing sus…

Media’s Thirst for War

Lately it appears to me that so many in the media is pushing hard for another Iraq except this time in Syria.  Again, none of those seeming to be pushing for this will be there to dodge one bullet or be involved in any of the fire fights which will erupt.  It appears this way because we now have a president willing to make sure that all other options are exhausted before committing our men and women of the military (boots on the ground) and those war hawks in the media keep compiling one question after another trying desperately to trap some spokesperson into a time line or particular statement.
For the doves in the media, I hear no push back on these media war hawks which also surprises me.  One would think that we wanted a Commander-in-Chief who would not shoot first and ask questions later but turn on the national or cable news and there they are following closely behind people like John McCain, Lindsey Graham and others who were so wrong about Iraq but now see a new opportunity to …

America’s Misguided Truths

Really America do we have to have this conversation again.  How many times must I remind you that your age old truths may be outdated today, that what you believed yesterday needs to be modified to fit what is needed today.  So let’s try this again and please prepare yourself because it will be nothing nice.
Let’s break down a few of your so-called truths that are really only selfish excuses not to do better or take responsibility.  The first is the rash of police shootings.  Now on the surface, it appears to be between two or more people but that is not the case.  It has long been a growing fantasy of those who seek to control other sections of society and are failures at controlling that one person whom they were entrusted to control, themselves.  We saw this coming quite some years ago and a few warned us then but the majority was too busy with our heads up our own butts while the rest was still trying to get our heads out of the sand.  I was a good cop and I take offense at being l…

The Ultimate Weapon against ISIL

So many people have asked ad many more have searched.  The discussion among the public is joined and all except those of Congress who was hired to help run this country are buckling down and trying to help solve this problem.  The problem ISIS or ISIL whichever way you wish to say it.
The situation seems far more daunting and complicated the more people you talk to.  It grows more serious with each passing day depending on the news outlet you favor.  It was made even more obvious by the killing of James Foley and would you believe that we have had the ultimate weapon against them waiting to be activated all this time and never knew it.  Would you also believe that this terrible group is also not truly led by the faces you see on television but covered faces of those you miss seeing?
The ultimate weapon against ISIL is none other than the Islamic people.  Those who tire of westerners buying their way into their religion and totally re-writing their Koran.  Those Muslims who are tired of …

Why Customer Service People burn out so fast

For someone who really grows as a person when they help another, no other job could be better than customer service.  It is more than a procedure, it’s a calling and not many possess the skills to be even a decent customer service rep.  So how do you find them and why do they burn out so quickly.
Let’s deal with the first question.  It’s easy to find someone who has that potential gold mine of a skill at customer service, watch their body language and the sparkle in their eyes when they speak about helping people.  If you do not see that, then chances are you are hiring by resume and not by benefit of company.  Having a person answer the phone does not a customer services representative make.  It goes much further than that.  A real customer service person will take as long with that one client or customer as necessary to ease their concerns.  They will stay with them until they are completely satisfied and not just appeased.  They will never be judgmental or accusatory just frank, hon…

Citizens always had the key to Fix Ferguson

The lessons of the Ferguson Missouri-The Michael Brown Story have been played out in so many in oh so many ways as even though people have been educated on what that lesson was, they still did little to change the outcome.
It appears that for many, the way to fix an issue is to yell, scream and throw a fit about it.  They still believe that the squeakiest wheel will get the oil.  While that may be true for your little red wagon, it is not true for people’s lives.  People believe that if you provided jobs for the hundreds and thousands of people out of work, that things would be much better and the rioting and looting would not happen.  It is believed that the anger is fixed when you give those who appear to be able to riot and loot because they have so much time on their hands, having a job; they may be too tired to riot or loot.   If the excuse to commit a crime is based upon this premise then you may be right but think about this, many who join groups like ISIL and other ideological …

And People wonder why Veterans are angry

Imagine this, you being told that if you sign on the bottom line, so many benefits will come your way.  You will be able to serve your country and make a decent living too.  You join for the education, medical, dental, housing and the other hundreds of benefits that are said would be earned but for many the service to the country is the real driving force.
You spend 2, 3, 4, 6 plus years putting your life on the line or just waiting until they call you into action.  You train from basic and even during your active time for that moment when your unit will get the order to suit up.  You tense up each and every time you hear of any unrest in the world anywhere or you hold your breath as some politicians shoots off their mouths about military intervention.  You serve during or take part in any conflict with hostile forces/countries and you travel the globe to train with other countries military not knowing when you may be called back for real.  You survive all this and when you finally nee…

ISIS beheads a U.S. journalist, America mourns and the media misses the point

If you pick up the paper, two major headlines will probably jump out at you.  The continuation of the massive coverage of the Ferguson, Missouri protests and the beheading of U.S. journalist James Foley.  One of these are about to lose its appeal so soon the Ferguson story will soon go by the waste side like Aurora, Newtown, Trayvon Martin and so many others but this beheading of James Foley is just beginning to peak the interest of many.  Not because it is a story that its lessons will ever be heeded but because it was an American who was savagely killed and there are other Americans who may be next.  Now I’m not saying that is a bad thing to be concerned with any America dying especially by the hands of cowards that call themselves brave but can anyone tell me how many military personnel died during this same time?
I think, one of the best articles written about Foley’s death was done so by Chelsea J. Carter for CNN titled “Video shows ISIS beheading U.S. journalist James Foley”.  Th…

Looters of Ferguson ignores the lesson of Dr. Martin Luther King

Throughout the coverage of the shooting and killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, there has been major coverage of the race angle from the disparity of representation in the local government to comparisons of how cities that are not predominately black are governed but all the while, it appears that many have forgotten the lesson that was taught so long ago during the civil rights struggle and made famous by a Baptist preacher known as Martin Luther King.
Lest we forget, Dr. King advocated non-violence and maintained that stance even after facing far much more law enforcement resistance than the residents and transplant face in Ferguson.  In an interview with one of the national news agencies, an interviewee was quoted as saying that the reason they were looting was to get justice and instead of those standing near this individual correcting him, they just nodded their heads in agreement.  Seeing and hearing this, I immediately was taken back to the time where even the right …

Former Marine accused of murder caught in Alaska

Being a former/retired Marine myself, this is always news I do not like to hear.  I sometimes place my branch of the services on a higher pedestal than I do others.  I look to them maintain a higher standard both in and out of uniform so when I hear stories like this, it hurts.
However, justice should be equal for all of us even those I hold in high esteem if not especially.  This article tells a story about “prosecutors have charged a former Marine with murder after the body of his alleged lover was found in an abandoned Southern California mine shaft.  The San Bernardino County Superior Court's web site says prosecutors on Tuesday charged 24-year-old Christopher Brandon Lee with murder.  Lee was arrested Sunday in Anchorage, Alaska, in connection with the death of 19-year-old Erin Corwin.  Authorities say Corwin and Lee were having an "intimate relationship" before she disappeared in Southern California in June. Court papers say Corwin was pregnant at the time. Authorit…

Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson speaks, through a third party

I had been waiting on a report that tells us what happened through the eyes of the police officer who was actually involved.  A portion of the officer’s story can be found here but it is imperative that you read the rest of what we could not or did not write here.  In this article, I've decided to do something a little different.  Normally I would not interrupt and article that I am quoting but this time I am mainly because you need to see both sides at the same time in order to even begin to understand the complexity of this issue.  My interruptions will appear in parenthesis the excerpts from the article in quotation marks. You can find it in an article written by Eliott C. McLaughlin, Dana Ford and Holly Yan for CNN titled “Caller says she has the officer's side of the Ferguson shooting”.  This was updated at 1:54 AM EDT, Tue August 19, 2014 under the subtitle “Dueling narratives”. 
The article reports that “the officer who killed Brown says the teenager rushed at him full …

There is no such thing as Facts

I read a conversation about the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson, Missouri where some excellent advice was being passed along that dealt with waiting until the facts are in before arm chair or Monday morning quarterbacking the event.  It was something I had said myself so it sounded like really good advice, but the more I read the stronger this thought became.  Is there any such thing as fact?
I say that because no one can tell what is actually happening in the minds of those involved in any incident except those who are actually involved.  And many times, things happen so fast that even they have a hard time recanting what they were actually thinking at that particular time.  If Fox News report that something happened in a particular way, is that fact especially if MSNBC reports it happening a different way.  Whose fact are we going to go with?  Does it depends on which one you, as an individual, think is more fair and balanced than the other?  Do we have to wait until some expert s…

Transplants in Ferguson proves to be Enemy of the Nation

Today I heard a very disturbing fact.  One of the many reporters on the ground in Ferguson, Missouri reported that several small but rowdy groups have descended upon Ferguson and is mainly the cause of the unrest there.  It’s disturbing because these “transplants” don’t have to stay there after they make it so very hard for those who do to survive in the place that they call home.  These selfish, unthinking and cowardly people, migrate into an area, create hate and discontent, then slim their way out leaving devastation and hopelessness in their wake.  If this sounds a little familiar, it should because this is the very same thing that is happening in Iraq, Syria, Israel and so many other countries where dialogue and compromise is a very dirty word.
We call those who perpetuate this type of discord terrorist but when it comes to people who travel from place to place with their own agenda and not really caring about the cause of the gathering of people but only see it as an excuse to sh…

Consumer Confidence may be down but there are jobs to be found

Contrary to what some would have people believe, the economy has returned and jobs are popping up all over America.  The issue is people are still feeling less than confident because the unemployment numbers are still high but if one was to take a few minutes and compare the unemployment rate now to what is was before the crash of the economy, they may find themselves surprised by the numbers.
Take for example, the job that is being done in Rockford, Illinois by those in the government.  Some time ago, we spoke about how FedEx was about to begin construction for its new facility in this area, then we talked about the construction of two new stores (Aldi’s and Sav-A-Lot) which will soon also start construction here.  Now our local TV station WREX is reporting that “Global aircraft service leader AAR Corporation is opening a new maintenance and repair hangar in Rockford that will create up to 500 new jobs over five years. AAR chose Rockford based on its location, cost effectiveness, spec…

As Our Youth suffer so does Our Country

Calling all parents, not just those who are with the kids from birth but those also who contributed to the creation of that child.  It is time for all of us to step up and put an end to this type of senseless violence as only parents can do.  How many more young lives are we going to watch get destroyed before we say enough and step up to show them a different way than the way of the streets.
This is the third type story that I have read this week and it is three to many.  It can be found at Missoulian.com and it is titled “Teens plead not guilty in homeless men's deaths”.  In it you will read, “Three teenagers indicted in the beating deaths of two sleeping homeless men in Albuquerque have pleaded not guilty.  The teens entered their pleas Friday and were ordered held on $1 million cash-only bond.  The 15- and 16-year-old suspects were charged as serious youthful offenders and indicted on first-degree murder charges. They will be tried alongside 18-year-old Alex Rios in adult court…

The Residents of Ferguson demonstrates just how to take back your Community

According to an article written by Meg Wagner, Cory Siemaszko of the New York Daily News titled “State of emergency declared in Ferguson after day grows heated in wake of Michael Brown shooting, photo of Officer Darren Wilson surfaces” there were a small part that made me begin to believe that true love of community was still alive and well in Ferguson, Missouri.  Now I am sure that many probably missed it because it was not as dramatic as the rioting and looting.  It is not quite as memorable and the conflict between residents and police.  It may not give them as many page views or increase their ratings.  That small piece “Emboldened, some troublemakers tossed Molotov cocktails and the started looting stores, including the Ferguson Market & Liquor — the business from which Brown allegedly stole a $48.99 box of Swisher Sweets cigars.  They were chased out by other demonstrators who stood watch over the store until the troopers could secure the premises.”
And there it is America, t…

Is Law Enforcement really above the Law?

I ask this question because there are so many stories surfacing now about the over-reach of police and the blatant assumption that they can do whatever it is they want and not have to worry about responsibility.  It used to be something you would only see in some of these police shows on television or in a Cops episode but now I guess its life imitating art.
Take as an example this article from the Associated Press reporting that “a northern New Mexico sheriff was arrested Friday on charges he cornered a driver at a dead end, threatened him with a silver revolver as the driver begged not to be shot and had him falsely charged with assault.  U.S. Attorney Damon Martinez announced Rio Arriba County Sheriff Thomas Rodella, who has had brushes with scandal throughout his career, and his son, Thomas Jr., were arrested by FBI agents at their Espanola homes in the March confrontation that left the driver injured. Authorities didn't detail the injuries.  The driver was arrested on charges …

Worker’s Welfare dependent on decisions made by Corporate America

Not often do we find a situation where a man cannot be in total control of their own destiny when it comes to certain things.  This is one such case.  A man or woman who can see themselves working at a particular job for years and making sure that their families are well taken care now have something else to fear.  They have to fear that selfish owner, manager or supervisor who are authorized to make decisions for the company that they work for, making decisions that benefits them but risks their welfare and livelihood. 
Such may be the case as found in an article written by Reuters reports that “FedEx Corp faces a new charge of conspiring to launder money in a U.S. criminal case over the company's drug deliveries for rogue online pharmacies despite warnings from law enforcement.  The latest indictment, filed in court on Friday, said FedEx accepted payment from several pharmacies when it knew the revenue was the product of invalid prescriptions.  Instead of stopping the conduct, Fe…

In the Minds of the Ferguson Police and the other Law Enforcement Officials th

With the recent shooting of an unarmed black male in Ferguson, Missouri all over the news these past few days.  The question is not about the events which lead to this shooting but more about the tactics being employed by the Ferguson County Sheriff and local law enforcement officers there.  Many in the media wants to know why they feel the need to use military type equipment in an urban environment and why they appear to ignore the rule of law, honor the rights of their fellow citizens and even trample all over the constitution.  Well in order to understand their mindset, one need only to take a few steps back and look at the growth pattern of this surprising occurrence.  Begin with the seed in order to understand how that very large tree got there and then you will understand just how to remove that enormous scene-stealing tree.
To do that let’s do this.  Think about the overwhelming sense of unfairness when a town, a city, a community is governed by a group of people who does not ac…