Deadbeat Dads-How this Social Stigma does Real Damage to Children and Families


As a dad who has fallen behind on child support, I was very interested in your story yesterday.  It taught me that people often hide behind personal attitudes and use the law to justify their bias.  There are so many saying that it is all about the kids, which I strongly believe is a lie and a cover.  If it really was about the kids, courts would mandate visitation instead of money, parents would seek to unite kids with their missing parent, unless that parent refuses to have anything to do with the child, or has shown signs of abusing the child.  Money does not raise a child nor does it replace the love, attention and closeness of a parent.  You speak of deadbeat dads and you make is sound like anyone who falls behind on child support, does not love, care for or would give their life for their child.

 

Now the object is to take away driver's license, so how could a decent dad ever find and secure a job depending on rides from other people or RMTD bus schedules.  How does any dad whose love for his children is so strong that he cries each time he see a photo or recalls any memory he has of them, ever spend time any time with his kids and bring more to their lives than money will ever do. 

 

It's not about tightening the screws on deadbeat dads but an effort to fill the state's coffers because they are broke.  It's about looking like you care about your community when you often times forget who placed you in that position.  It's about appearing to have something to say and getting face time on camera instead of doing right by the children, you swear to serve and protect.

 

As a former U.S. Marine, fighting to get my disability, hearing that I am "over-qualified" at every interview and wondering why it was much easier to dodge bullets in a war zone than it is to find employment or get the help to become self-employed.  Why it is so easy for others to make laws taking away my rights, not remembering that they have that right because I and others like me, was willing and some did, to give their lives for it. You want to punish deadbeat dads by putting them in jail, taking away their driving privileges and as one interviewee suggested take away their right to vote, instead of making them do right by that child by not only paying their share of the cost to raise them but spending time with them which goes much further than any amount of dollars spent.  Look around, any man worth his salt, would hand over any amount of money just to spend time with those who means the most to them.  Not because they were told to but because they want to.  Don't be so quick to assume that all dads spend most of their waking moments looking for ways to hide from their responsibility of child support, not all of us are the same.

 
Some form of money will be here long after we are gone and the only real legacy we have is our children.  Our only main task is to insure that we have done as much to affect the lives of our children as we can within the confines of suggestions not controlling.  We will be judged by God for the lessons that we pass on to them because to them nothing is more precious than that.

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