My Journey from Sinner to Saint
My journey began the day that I was born but I did not know it. From the moment I opened my eyes and took my first breath, a plan of my life was formed and I began walking it the first moment I took my first step.Many of us look to what we have accomplished as a measure of our life but I have come to know that it isn’t what we have accomplished that makes our lives fulfilled, it’s who we have comforted. We go through life looking for that brass ring and waiting on that dock for our ship to come in, what we fail to realize is that all that time we were looking for that brass ring or waiting on our ship, God had place that silver spoon in our hands and had already given us that boat to get to that other side. We use the spoon to feed ourselves and the boat to fish with but we refused to cross over for fear of missing that ship.
God was with me from the day I touched my first dead body and he supported me through all of the good and bad times before and after. I know now that he never left my side even though Satan was quick to try and force me to believe it. He carried me through a rough and rugged childhood because he knew that it would forge a drive and determination that would be needed for all the other obstacles yet to come. I did not know that then but I know it now. Every event that happened and that will happen is happening for that very same reason, to prepare me for what is to come. Each and every minute, every hour, every day I grow stronger and stronger in my faith because faith is all that I need to accomplish any goal and be as successful as I choose to be. As so it is for you too.
One night I had a dream that I had died and was buried on top of a hill with a soft, sweet and steady breeze blowing side to side. At first I was a little frightened but as soon as the fear arrived, it disappeared and was replaced by a realization. I realized that the dream signified my re-birth and my new dedication to God. I used to think that I was dedicated to him before but I now realize I was only pretending. That dream allowed me to shed that pretense and accept my reality. The fears that I allowed to control and guide me was no more. I took back full control of my life then and I shall never relinquish it again. I ask you to do the same.
I used to fear what others were able to do to me but I fear not now because I know that even though they might think that they can, they will never control me. I used to fear that I would never amount to anything or be anybody but I fear not now because from the moment I opened my eyes to this world, I was somebody and I amounted to something. So have you. I never lost my special place in the heart of God, no matter what jobs I did for Satan. I served Satan then both conscientiously and unconscientiously but still God never gave up on me. He placed people in my life to show me this but I was too blind to see. He used people to cradle me in love but I was too ridged and selfish to understand. I used to fear being alone but I fear not now because no matter how things are here on this earth, the vastness of heaven is really my home and there I am never alone. I used to fear death and I still do today but not the death that we all talk about. I fear the second death. The first death is leaving this world as a mortal, a human being as a person of the flesh. That first death is but a release from the bondage of this world. I fear the second death, the death where all that I have done or not done will be placed before me and a question will be asked of me where my answer will determine for me whether I proceed through the gates of Heaven or be delivered into the bowels of Hell. I do not have control of that first death because we can leave this world at any time for any reason but I do have full control of the second. My path to everlasting life and happiness is in my hands and the path to it is paved by me and my actions every single day that I exist here on this earth. Then and only then will my journey from sinner to saint be complete.
Am I there now, not by a long shot. Will I ever obtain it before then, no and neither will anyone else. Our goal here on earth is to increase our chances as much as we can by doing for others as we would have them do for us. Not because we want them to do for us but because we want to do for them. Our goal is to help others see that no matter the sin, forgiveness is just as plentiful and it comes at no cost that means forgiveness is free to all who seek it. While being here on earth, while being human and of the flesh, we will continue to make mistakes and we will continue to sin but there is that silver spoon still in your hands and that small boat that sits at the dock. All God asks us to do is trust that he will deliver these things when we need them the most and he will forgive us of each and every sin, big or small, that we ask him to. There has always been God’s presence in your life, whether it came from family, friends and sometimes a complete stranger. One that gave you the confidence to go on or picked you up when you fell. You might not have recognized him then but you will recognize him later.
On Sunday, June 9, 2013, I was beginning one of my weekly Christian Radio Shows of a Twist of Faith on Blog Talk Radio when I heard this pecking at my window; I looked over and discovered that it was a Wren pecking the glass. It stayed there until I tapped on the window in front of it. A friend of mine helped me recognize it as a sign that I was doing a good thing. I awoke this morning after a dream where I stepped through a door heading outside. Across the street was a man dressed in a dark suit with a bright red tie. He knew my name and asked me a question in a language that I had never heard before, but I must have understood it because I answered “no” to his question. The man looked dejected; I turned my head to my right seeing another man dressed in the same kind of suit except his tie was black. The man in the black tie raised a handgun at me and fired three times. As he fired I was pulled back through that closed door by a force not of my own. The dream ended and I do not know if I had been hit or not. I rose from my bed to pen all this you read now.
I take it that the man in the red tie was Satan and he asked me if I was coming back to him, I answered “no” and he was not pleased so he instructed his demon, the man with the black tie, to remove me from this battlefield. My commander, my God pulled me out of harm’s way to let me know that Satan was not ever going to quit. He would see me serving him or not serving anyone at all. I used to fear Satan but I fear not now because I know he is weak, frightened and sorry. This is why he hides in the dark and do all his work from there. Some would have you believing that Satan is as powerful as God and that is a lie. Satan has to manipulate, connive and scheme to get you to do things. He has to have your permission to control you. He has to have you invite him in and to me that does not seem like power. The only power Satan has is the power that you give him and if you give it to him, you can take it back. Bad things happen because there is a lesson in it for you to learn not because Satan causes it or controls it. Satan has no power unless you invite him in so feel free to kick him out anytime you wish and as often as you wish because he will never stop stalking you. Satan operates in the dark so to beat him all you have to do is let in the light. Like cockroaches, in the dark they are brave and superior but cut on the light and they all run for cover.
There is no such thing as bad luck or bad timing; there is a purpose for everything. Our task is to discern from that event what the lesson is in order that that event never happens again. The choice and control is ours to wield, that’s the silver spoon. Give it up and you lose a vital tool to help you navigate this world, keep it close and you retain a weapon powerful enough to keep Satan in his place. Fear nothing and no one, do as it is asked of you by those here on earths but do it as you believe God would have you do it. Jesus said “give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and give unto God that which belongs to him. Pay your taxes, your debts and any other obligations that you have but never relinquish your salvation. What you owe on this earth does not belong to God nor does what you own belongs to you so let others have it if they want it so badly. What does belong to you is the only thing that belongs to God and that is simply your soul. Protect it, defend it and hold on to it because it might surprise you to know that your soul has always been you ship. It never left the dock and has always been with you. It was there when you first opened your eyes and took your first steps. It will be with you until you use it to cross over to the other side or give it away. The choice is yours.