5 Ways to tell if your Life is not your own

When you hear someone say that they are in complete control of their lives and no one tells them what to do, take a closer look at the actions that they take if you truly want to know if they are telling the truth or lying.  You have to look for actions because none of us is endowed with the power to judge whether anyone is truly right or wrong simply because what may be one person’s truth may not be another’s.  We must try never to minimize another person’s struggles, beliefs and feelings so allow them to feel what and when they do remembering that when it is your time, you would want to be treated the same. 

Now there are millions of ways one could tell if a person is indeed in complete control of their lives and their decisions but we have only listed what we believe is the top 5 here.

1.       When your decisions are not based on what is best for you but how others may see it:
Ever had a decision to make but were more concerns about how others will view that decision more than how beneficial it would be for you?  If you answer yes to this then know that you are not in complete control of your life.  Take for example making a decision upon what to wear that day.  Now you look in the mirror and you may be satisfied with your outfit but in the back of your mind, you wonder and worry about how others will see that outfit.  Many will say that they don’t but they do even those who seem to just get up and put on anything.  Some justify the decision by trying to be different and arrogantly strut their new-wave collection but watch closely and see just how angry they become when a suggestion is made that they should go home and change.

2.      When you justify not doing anything because others don’t do it:
Ever hear someone say that the reason that they did not or don’t do anything is because no one else does it?  If you have then you have just encountered someone who is not in complete control of their life.  If you are ever confronted with the opportunity to do something the ultimate choice should be because you wish to do it or not to do it.  It should never be because others do it or don’t.  God gave you your life and the power and ability to make decisions for yourself because in the end when all is said and done, he will hold you accountable for the choices you made and the fact that no one else did it or didn’t will not save you from the penalty you will receive for that particular error in judgment.  Some may say that it is selfish not to consider others in all of your decisions but I say if you make a decisions  which is best for you at the time, others will not only come to understand it but respect it.  Truth be told, decisions made based on what is best for you often times will never infringe upon the rights of another as long as you are willing to understand that just because it was right for you does not make it right for everyone.

3.      When you point out reason why you shouldn’t do what you know you should do:
When you ask the question, does this sound right to you and you get the response that sorry but this is just the way it is, should clue you in that you are dealing with someone who is not in complete control of their life.  If they know within the depths of their very soul that what they are doing or about to do is wrong but make excuses so as not to take complete blame for the decision to subject themselves to the control of another, they are not controlling their own destinies but are turning over control of the very life that was given to them to lead.  Examples are those who pushes policies that they know is unfair or bias but they push them anyway.  You know it was wrong but your boss says you must do it or lose your job now you have to quickly decide if any job is worth your soul.

4.      When your stance on any subject is based upon the crowd you are with at the time:
Ever met a person who you thought or hear say that they believe one thing one way one day but the very next time you see them they now believe differently?  Now this one is tricky because you first need to find out why they changed their minds and if they changed their minds because they learned something new that they did not know before and this is why they modified or changed their stance.  If this is the case then I would say you are dealing with a very smart and wise person because no one has all the answers and the willingness to modify or change your mind based on new information is the hallmark of a confident person but if that is not the case then shake hands with someone who is not in complete control of their life.  This normally happens to people who just wish to belong and feel a part of something even if they truly do not know what that something is.  You know the people; those who just go along often times reacting as the crowd does even if they haven’t even took the time to consider what it is that they are reacting to.

5.      When the choice of doing the right thing is based upon consequences instead of reward:
The Bible talks about a tree bearing good fruit and to some they may think it is all about doing those good deeds that you can brag about or people will see you performing but those are not that good fruit the Bible is talking about.  You see good fruit grows, matures and sweetens not only when it is seen but even when it is unseen.  In other words, doing the right thing should be done because of the feeling that you are left with when you do.  That content, peaceful feeling you get when you do what you believe is right.  That is the best reward that anyone could ever hope to receive and it does not come from pats on the back or ticker tape parades, it comes from within.  If you are more worried about what may happen if you do what is right like losing your job or people speaking ill of you than you are about touching a little bit of heaven here on earth, you are not in complete control of your life.  Doing what is right, never infringes upon the rights of others.  Seeing someone who needs help loading their groceries into their car and going over to help does not infringe upon anyone’s rights but it surely does make you feel better about yourself when they look into your eyes and say thanks.  That smile that comes across both faces is the good fruit and no matter how bad the tree is thought to be, good fruit has a way of making it bloom and blossom just as beautiful as all the rest of the trees.

Now to answer the question that is probably on everyone’s mind, is there any human being who is in complete control of their lives and honestly that answer is no.  Not one of us is perfect and in order to achieve this we have to work very hard each and every day to achieve it.  Today may be a good day and we may be able to prove our control of self but tomorrow could be a different story.  We will have good days and we will have bad ones but what we do after those bad days is more determinative than those bad days could ever be.  Being in complete control of your life means being able to say yesterday may have been a bad day but I will have a better one tomorrow.


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