The Real Truth to Why We Lie
Many people ask me where do I come up with these deep philosophical solutions or theories in many of my writings and the simple answer is having a very strong desire to understand why people do what they do and an equally strong desire to be able to explain it in a way which allows all of us a choice. The choice of owning our actions which gives us back control over them or ignoring them which keeps us in that funk which some seems to enjoy. Others have accused me of being too simplistic and minimizing an issue but to them I say that contrary to popular belief the simple answer is always the right one because problems are only complicated when we inject other things into them. Ever notice that the simplest change to an existing product makes that product better?
This hypothesis leads me to our current debate or discussion. The real truth behind why we lie. The simple answer is fear. We lie because we fear what the results will be if we tell the truth. Something as simple as someone asking you how they look in that dress. We fear that telling them that they look like a big banana or the old Bic pen with hair would hurt their feelings so we sugar-coat it or avoid answering the question at all. Truth is there are some outfits that do not compliment some people and if they ask your opinion, you owe them to be honest. You can always find a better way to say it and that should be the subject of your search for words. You should never allow someone you supposed to care about to venture out in public reminding people of the old Bic pen or a walking banana. You worry about their reaction to your answer but the true result is the results that occur or affect your relationship with that person. Soon they will find out that you lied and not only are the initial lie an issue but now it is compounded by their beginning to questioning everything that you have ever told them. The time you sat there and wrapped your arms around them while they were navigating a very bad situation, telling them comforting things to help them through will now be re-examined and the thought that you were lying then will creep into their minds and the total faith and trust you enjoyed before that small little lie is now gone. Was the little lie worth it now?
The desire to lie based on fear begins at a very early stage in all of our development. As a child we realize that telling our parents the truth could mean a serious butt beating so we search for a story that will save us from the pain of discipline. When we are allowed to get away with that story, we began to consider lying as the golden rule and with each instance; we get better at telling them. Some have even gotten so good at it that they have elevated lying to an art form and there are some who even get paid big bucks for telling the best lie. What started as fears making us see lying as the only way out has now become a life style for some now isn't that sad when you think about it?
We fear getting into trouble from the actions that we took or didn't take, in some instances, so we construct a really good lie to avoid it. We fear responsibility for something so we lie in order to avoid it and we find ourselves quickly pushing the blame upon someone else knowing full well that they had nothing to do with it. Can’t handle owning our mistakes so we shift them off on others and that appears to be okay with this generation of people because so many are doing it and escaping cleanly. The only issue that makes this worse and compounded by that little white lie is the results. Now that you have dumped your failures upon others, not only do you have to deal with that every day but now you have to deal with those quiet whispers and silent stares that you feel because you know what you did was wrong. You say to those you see as standing in judgment of you believing your little lie and you walk away with a sense of accomplishment but what you do not consider is the results of that little white lie. Someone has to be held responsible for what you did so the search continues for a body to blame. Soon that body is found and you stand back to allow that body to be jailed and criminalized without saying a word. You spend the rest of your days trying to build the best reputation that you can hope that this would make up for that little lie but in your hearts of hearts and from the depths of your soul; you know that it will not. That body may be paying for your crime but your soul is paying for your sin.
So the simple answer to why we lie is fear and to overcome and take back control of this sometimes sinister emotion, all we need to do is tell the truth. You may have to suffer from telling the truth but trust me when I say that the suffering you do from telling the truth is nowhere near the suffering you will do for lying. Just search for the right words when it comes to telling the truth and the shorter the admission the better it is. You can always give a bigger and better explanation of why you took those actions or why you failed to act, but the initial stage of telling the truth or lying is where you need to shine or just simply bow out. Just my opinion, I could be wrong and if so ME CULPA.