The Secret to Keep your Child from Hating You

Again I embark on a subject that many will forever tag me for but if one refuse to address a subject in order to avoid critics, then you are not living you are only existing and if it one thing you will all learn of me, I refuse to just exist.

Again we are in search for the simplest solution to the issue because for many parents, guardians or caretakers hatred from your child is not a problem.  So maybe hatred is too strong a word and maybe we need to use the word dismissing you but in order to use this word, or any other as far as that matter, we have to believe that the cause of this hatred is not something many parents, guardians or caretakers practice daily.  So I ask these questions.  How many of you make corrections to your child’s action in public or in front of others and how often do you do this?

I ask that because this is the primary secret to keeping your child from hating you.  No one enjoys being corrected but it is even more demeaning and devastating in public or in front of others.  Some people believe that embarrassment is a good deteriorate to a child misbehaving and you can see their point in some cases but let me offer you this tidbit of realism.  Place yourself in that position and please be honest when you tell how it would make you feel.  Think about it when your boss comes over to you on the line or in the break room and jumps all over your neck for a mistake you made.  The mistake is the furthest thing from your mind and the only re-occurring thought is how your co-workers now view you and whether that snicker you heard was directed at you.  If you did not enjoy that and it made you want to hate your boss, imagine what your child felt.  Still believe that embarrassing them is a good idea?

I submit that you can get much further with controlling that child’s action by speaking to them in private.  The main reason is total attention.  You are able to give that kid 100% of your attention while getting theirs and many times, isn't that why some kids act out because of lack of attention?  Here you can make them promises of what will happen if they perform like that again and if you make it, you must follow through with it.  Now you can obtain a much better understanding of why they acted that way and address it right then one on one.  This is has served me well in the past and it may serve you.  I will still make comments in public to get that child’s attention and even go too far in making corrections but since I am not perfect and never will be all that is left to us is to work hard to not step outside the bounds.  Do the best you can and make each decision as if you were in their shoes, you might be surprised that not only does your communication skills get better but the relationship between you and your child does as well.  Just my opinion, I could be wrong and if so ME CULPA.


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