Understanding Autism

When someone mentions autism, many of us have to shrug our shoulders as we are really not sure what they are talking about.  Our immediate focus of the definition is someone who displays the symptoms senior surviving mammals would have called “mentally retarded” but what if I told you that autism is nothing more than the daily actions and activities of every single person on this earth and in this universe but more profound.

If you pay close attention to any child displaying any activity that society deems as autistic, you will find that it is the very same activity that those not diagnosis with this condition displays.   For my son, he re-focuses but rubbing his fingers together directly in front of his eyes combined with the short run or jog back and forth.  While this may not be the activity displayed by many of us, consider this.  It is well known that in order for some of us to concentrate on the task at hand, we must doddle especially when on the phone.  For some of us it is best to pace back and forth while having a conversation.  You see these actions prominently displayed by lawyers in the courtroom, instructors at the podium and actors/actresses in a play.  These are not things we do just because, we do this because it works and allows us to perform best period. 

The problem then becomes with any and all socially adopted definitions and excuses, we embrace all them and then create a world that is nothing close to the real world in which we all must live.  We cater to the intimacies of that condition and never once think of the consequences that doing this will have on the person.    We attempt to educate ourselves on the condition but ignore the most important part which is and always will be the person.  Realizing that there are many things for which, we as parents, are ill-equipped to teach and possibly should be certified in specific areas as many teachers and educators are.  We are not ill-equipped because we lack the intelligence to comprehend the subject.  We are ill-equipped because we conscientiously decide to refuse education.  We refuse to be educated by those who we meet whom may just have a decent knowledge of the subject we seek.  We refuse to be educated by not seeking knowledge from the institutions that has the materials we will need.  We refuse to be educated by “self-educating” utilizing the internet provided we are willing to check several sources on the same subject before deciding which is best to follow. 

It is as simply as a man trying to teach a little girl how to be a lady.  You are ill-equipped and therefore will do your daughter more harm than good unless you educate or allow her to be educated by someone you trust.  As men, we wish to teach our little girls to be independent and never have to depend on a man because we remember how we were and sometimes still is but do not think that is good for our child.  We want them to be tough and never lay down to be walked all over like a rug and while this is a good thing considering that every once in a while a queen may have to lead and fight side by side with her subjects to protect her kingdom.  It eliminates one vital ingredient to the worthiness of your child.  Your daughter does not ever learn how to be a lady.

It is as simple as a woman trying to teach a little boy how to be a man.  You are ill-equipped and therefore will do your son more harm than good unless you are willing to love them enough to step aside and make sure that they get the proper directions.  While you may be able to teach him how to be gentle and how he should treat women, you expose him to one of the main tenants of being a man, namely his individual manhood.  Imagine the trauma of having mom fight all his battles dresses him till he’s ten (10), brushes his teeth for him and even pick out his clothes.  While all this may sound like a lovely mother, in the circle of the masculinity realm, that young man will never be able to identify with the other males who were allowed this independence.

Basically, I am saying to stop catering to the condition or the situation and let’s begin to concentrate on the most important part, the person.  They do not desire to be treated as a fragile piece of glass that if not handled properly will break and they deserve better.  They deserve better because life will never treat them with kid’s gloves and as parents to do less should be criminal.  Now we are not advocating abuse in any form because that is the other extreme and it has no place when you decide to become a parent.  We should always remember that little person standing in front of us was at one time us and if we wanted people to listen to us and take us seriously then, we owe our children no less now.   A little bit of discipline, a whole lot of love, a heaping helping of forgiveness and a none existing amount of limitations upon your little cherub can surely allow them to grow into that almost perfect angel.