Parents are the number one killer of kid’s ability to dream

This thought occurred to me as I was looking at answering yes to all of my youngest daughter’s recent requests.  I surmised that since she has already gone through things that no child should ever have to endure at such a young age, that saying yes would make her feel and know that she was loved and appreciated.  It wasn’t until she kept asking for one thing after another that it dawned on me that maybe what I was doing was not actually for her but only to make myself feel better.  I dawned upon me that I was actually doing her more harm than good by saying yes to everything.

I began to truly think about that concept of giving in makes them give up and the more I thought about it the more it began to make sense and possibly explain why kids today have little or no respect for anything or anyone.  The primary reason is the lack of a good example set by their parents, guardians or caretakers but a large factor appears to be our desire to try and make things better for them by attempting to say yes instead of saying no. 

When you say yes, the kid’s desire for whatever they were asking is fed and there is no other need to become creative and dream up a way to achieve that goal.  When you say no, the exact opposite happens and they begin to conjure up a way to maybe not get what they asked for in the beginning but get that consolation prize.  Their minds begin to kick into gear and they do something many kids fail or refuse to do, think.  Some may call this conniving or manipulation but if it makes them search for a solution to a problem, they tend to make that a habit and perform this same task each and every time they are presented with a problem instead of just blaming the outcome of a rash decision on someone else or allowing another person to decide for them.  You ask and pray for your child to be independent but as parents, guardians and caretakers of these very same children, we stand to be the ones who kill that side of their creativity by either giving in or failing/refusing to nurture it.

When you do not have or cannot seem to poses something, you dream of the day that you can and when you find information which will lead you in the direction of achieving this brass ring, you work out ways to make it happen.  If you are given everything you may every want then you have no reason to exercise that part of your brain that houses creativity.  You have no reason to chase that dream.  All journey’s must begin with that first step and creative people all began with a dream.