Defeat is only possible with your permission

When we talk about the word defeat, it is often times in the realm of how it is defined as a verb.  The verbal definition of defeat is “to win a victory over (someone) in a battle or other contest; overcome or beat”.  But yesterday, I learned something new and created a new phrase which is the topic of this conversation.  Yesterday I learned that defeat is only possible with your permission.  Think about it.

The definition says to win, overcome or beat but unless the person, place or thing that you win a victory over, overcome or beat feeling like they or it has lost, your defeat of it is only in your mind and not seen by anyone else or witnessed by history.  This may explain why so many of us tend to tout our accomplishments via a resume, personal conversation or over any media that we can get our hands on.  We use these mediums to demonstrate that we are winners because we have been conditioned to believe that the opposite is worse and no one likes to be called a loser.  But what if I told you that only you can actually tag yourself with that loser brand and no man, woman or child has the power or authority to label you that period.  This is where the immortal words of Eleanor Roosevelt comes in when she is quoted as saying “the only person who can make you feel inferior is you”  Only you can feel inadequate about anything regardless of what anyone says about you.  Your choices are to assume that they know you better than you know yourself which makes you take what is told to you to heart or you can use those words to fuel your determination to be the best you that you can be which will not only shut them down with a quickness but make some change their thoughts and attitudes about you.  That respect that you say others need to show you comes from when they finally figure out that you determine your own destiny and refuse to allow anyone else to determine it for you.

Yesterday, I was faced with a dilemma of allowing others to tell me that I needed to do something else to carry a particular equipment home.  I was told that I needed help to get that equipment home and that I could not do it in the way I had chosen to.  I was even mocked by stranger because I was attempting to do it a particular way that they were so sure would never work.  Now I could have allowed myself to be defeated by that equipment and by those who said it could not be done but being the hard headed person that I am, it was more of a challenge than it was a truth.  Needless to say, I got that equipment home in the very manner that others swore I wouldn’t and today I stand proud of what I accomplished every time I look at the new addition to my garage.  There is truly no need to go into further explanation because that is not the point.  The point is to demonstrate to you that each and every day, every minute, every hour of that day; we are faced with this same dilemma.  You know that there are things you should not do and those you really should choose not to do them but there are also times your first thought about how to accomplish something can be done even if it appears that so much stands against it and defeat is seen by so many.  If you choose to accept defeat then it is your choice and your choice alone but if you choose to not accept defeat, you can cure whatever the issue is which may be causing you bother.

Nothing is one hundred percent so there will be times you fail but if you take those failures and turn them into lessons on how not to repeat those same mistakes then it is no longer a failure, it is a success, a win and is that not the definition of defeat?


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