My idea on how to properly deal with emotions
Common wisdom has us believing that emotions are controllable and that they can be dealt properly with just an expression of them. I disagree with this common wisdom and the evidence of why is all around us.
Common wisdom says that if someone makes you angry, all you need to do to deal with it properly is to find a non-combative way to let them know. While this does ease the immediate sting of that action, it does not completely erase the emotion of anger. There are still parts of that situation which plays over and over again within the confines of our mind and may again raise its head at a later time. We often then attribute it to something else but for some reason do not completely accept that reasoning and often cannot figure out why. Simply put, it is because assignment of another reason for that anger is wrong and deep within the very essences of which we are we know this that is why it does not sit right from the beginning. So what do we do about it to insure that it does not manifest into displaced anger at something or someone who’s truly not to blame?
For me, I would say the reason it does not go away is because there is a lesson within that emotion that we refuse to or cannot locate. The reasoning may be that what angered us was not a total lie by another but partially carrying a smidgen of truth with it. Now since we wish to see ourselves as mistake proof, we cannot embrace the fact that some truth was hidden in the incident but if we are willing to clean up our own house before telling others how to clean up theirs we will find that small particle of truth and work to change it. As we work to change it, not only do we completely erase the anger but we also insure that any other incident that occurs within our lives that closely resembles that action will no longer hold any power over us and no other innocent shall suffer what another may have said or done some time ago.
This may be helpful in dealing with any emotion but there is also another cause that happens even if we are not conscious of it. When it comes to a mass of emotions happening all at once and seemingly over the same incident, we tend to believe that one solution will solve them all. When this is put into practice but fail to work, we then become frustrated and feel as if our lives are now out of control. What we have done is combined all of those emotions instead of dealing with each and every one as a separate entity. After you have dealt with the situation that angered you by finding that non-combative way to tell them to go take a leap, you still feel bad because you have yet to deal with why you are feeling sad. Maybe the reason you are feeling sad is you have just discovered that many others may just see you in that same way and since that is not the way you wish to be seen, it makes you sad that it may be happening. Now you need to address this sadness and the most valuable way is to look deep within yourself and find that reason why others may see you in that regards.
Maybe it’s the way you treat others or the way you treat yourself. Maybe it’s an insecurity that you did not know showed through even though you feel it so very strongly. Either way, you must now seek a remedy to it and instead of trying to find a new way to hide it, embrace it and make a pact with yourself to change it. Just that action alone takes away any power it has and allows you to truly take command of your destiny instead of allowing your destiny to be chosen by others or outside forces. After grasping that handle on the sadness, you tend to notice that the anger is completely gone and now sadness is about to or can be conquered too, but let’s not forget about a third emotion that often travels with the last two. That emotion is nervousness.
Why would you be nervous? You may be nervous because you fear failure. Failure that you will never be able to figure out the root and real causes of your emotional trips and failure in that means that others will continue to see you in a way, you wish no one would ever see you. To combat this all you truly have to do is believe in yourself and your ability to learn better and faster about the most important person in your life which is you. No one will ever get to know you as well as you can or will and no one will ever be able to correct those things that you can, so trust yourself when it comes to dealing with you and if you make up your mind that you are going to fix any issue that originates with you, the mind will insure that you do just that. Nerves are a truly good thing because they make you cautious instead of careless and they make you search for answers instead of just accepting the first one that comes along.
We are all individuals whether we are part of a group or just seen as part of a group and so is emotions. We prefer being dealt with as an individual and find solace in the fact that we can be understood as such. Well the same is true about emotions, they should be seen as separate even if they occurred as a group and when you deal with each and every last one of them as such, solutions and resolutions come.