Competing Parents Harms no one more than their Children

To say that the fighting between parents do not affect the children is to deny that there are bones within our bodies.  It does affect them and in a way that only those who grew up in a busted home where one or both of the parents were absent knows this.  But even with that knowledge, we still cannot help ourselves when that selfish moment hits and we fail to see the damage that we do to our own kids for the sake of getting back at the other.  I am as guilty of such an ignorant thing as anybody which is why I feel as though I am more than knowledgeable enough about this to scream and yell at others.

The ultimate proof of how stupid we can be when it comes to trying to get revenge on the other parent is when we attempt to hurt the ones we love more than a total stranger ever could is in this article.  It is titled “Schiller Park woman accused of trying to murder her children with poisoned apple juice” written by Tom Negovan and Judy Wang.  In this article it reports that “Krystle El Khatib, 29, of Schiller Park, is charged with attempted murder for allegedly trying to murder her children with poisoned apple juice because she was angry with their father.  According to prosecutors, El Khatib crushed up benzodiazepine pills, an anti-anxiety drug, into some apple juice, and forced her 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter to drink two glasses each. She threatened to hit her son if he didn’t do so.  Then, they say she tried kill herself with a similar cocktail.  Authorities say the 9-year-old boy woke up the following day, vomiting, and was able to get in touch with his father.  The children were taken to an area hospital, treated for poisoning and released into the custody of their father.  El Khatib was later found at her home by police and also taken to the hospital.  At the hospital, a criminal complaint against El Khatib says she “told a social worker at the hospital that she brought her kids into this world and she can take them out.”

This is not the fault of no one except the parents who refuse to grow up and teach themselves how to disagree without being disagreeable.  Before we bring kids into this world, especially if we are from a broken home ourselves, we promise that the way we came up will never be the way we will raise our children and yet we do exactly that.  Not every relationship will last forever and to think that we are going to find Mr. or Mrs. Right the first time out is simply ludacris.  There are a few things we must fix before we can safely say that how we were raised will or will not be how we will raise our children.

The first thing we must do as parents is realize that we are broken ourselves and only after fixing us can we even entertain the thought of trying to show anyone else how they can fix themselves.  We need to educate before we appropriate which means that we need to find people who love us enough to be honest about the things that they see may need some attention and then we must find the courage to address our own short-comings and search far and near for a solution to our issues.  If we are willing to do that then and only then can we begin to make life better for our kids.  We need to remember that these children did not ask to be born to us, we were blessed to have them and we need to see them as a blessing instead of an object to be used to get revenge on the other parent.

I know it is easier said than done but this is what separates us from those who claim the title parent and those who struggle each and every day to be one.  Parenting is never easy and it may seem that the longer you go doing it the harder it gets but that is simply because those little people who can make your heart melt with just a smile deserves nothing less than our best and when we are not at our best, we need to spare them the damage, injury and drama because what they see from us is exactly what they will take as the appropriate way to handle their lives.  We once said that we would never subject our children to the kind of life we had so when it comes to all things involving them, were we just talking or did we actually mean it?