Lesson learned and a Wish to Share, Everybody Listen Up
Learned something last night speaking to the wife that I did not know and thinking that I may not be the only male who didn’t know this, I wanted to share with you what I learned. Now it goes without saying that men and women are as different in many things as night and day but what makes this wonderful in a way is that we can now learn so much from each other providing we have the spine and backbone to open ourselves us to listening and hearing what they have to say.
Our conversation centered around why men and women have a very hard times communicating sometimes and the more we dived into that discussion the more agitated and frustrated I was getting because I just couldn’t seem to make my wife understand that we are equipped with a meter that monitors our manhood and when that monitor is tripped, very little if anything ever gets past that point. She was trying to get me to understand that women have this unquenchable desire to make sure that the person with whom they speak knows the full story and not just get the highlights. It was then the lesson was presented to me plain and simple. She used the analogy of when men speak to each other it takes those about 5 minutes to cover a subject while women take about 20 minutes to make sure that they have related everything. This being the case when a man talks to a woman, we still are in that 5 minute zone and anything after 5 minutes being the monitor of our manhood to tick down. For women, the need to go that 20 minutes means that if they do not then they may feel responsible for you making the wrong call because they did not tell you everything that they knew.
So the lesson is, the language between men and women is never foreign, it is just that after 5 minutes on a subject, men’s eyes began to glaze over and our attention span has passed its limits. We hear what is being said in the first 5 minutes but after that we have no earthly idea what was said then. The sad part is the most important part of what she had to say probably came after that 5 minutes and we missed the best part of her argument. Women expect for a man to last more than 5 minutes and find it quite frustrating when she finally realize that he is paying her no attention. This leads to the “you don’t love me or care about what I have to say” phase which is often not true, we just zoned out as we always do. Men even do this with other men if they have a “gift of Gab” like me and others. After a certain amount of time on any particular subject, yes ladies even sports, the one who is supposed to be listening has stopped and now seeking the next topic of debate.
To better this gentlemen, we must make a conscious effort to increase our attention span when we are about to have a conversation with a woman. Tell yourself that you need to dedicate more than 5 minutes to her conversation but take it slow with the increase because attempting to increase it too fast could lead to our head exploding which would be no good for anyone. My wife suggested an additional 5 minutes in the beginning which means guys, when you are about to sit down and enter a conversation with a woman, set your manhood clock for 10 minutes. Now women, you are not without fault in this so here is what we suggest you do. Before you sit down to have a conversation with a man, reduce your explanations to 10 minutes versus 20 minutes which may be normal. If you do this, less frustration will be discovered for both of you. You will not have to fill like he does not care and we do not have to feel like you don’t ever shut up.