Lack of patience may be the main cause of divorces and breakups

Having had my share of divorces and breakups, I have a little knowledge in this area.  Recently I took a few minutes to look over my life and past decisions and was astounded to find a common thread running among them.

The common thread was my severe lack of patience with these relationships.  I had plenty of excuses to use to hide the fact that it was clearly not about those excuses but simply put, patience.  In my first marriage, the excuse was moving too fast but all it would have taken was a little bit more patience with the situation and the family.  We all should know that anything worth having is worth fighting for and when I say fighting I do not mean the physical sense.  I mean in the mental sense. 

When two complete strangers come together, there will be times where the person that you showed during the courtship is not the person that greets you every morning.  There will be mornings when you may not recognize the image staring back at you and during those times patience is needed more than anything else.  You have to understand that actions taken does not necessarily mean that the results is what was sought, sometimes things do not turn out like we would like them too.  Before ranting and raving try and understand just what it is you or your significant other was trying to accomplish.  If you hear the words, “I don’t know” accept that answer because there will be times where we really will not know what results we were seeking from our actions.

Any long term relationship is partially built on certain things that you just let go of.  If you are a clean freak please do not try and convert a messy person.  Some things go against the grain or very essence of a person and if that is the case, the only way one will change is when they are ready to.  Nothing you say or do can make another person change, they have got to want it worst than you do in order to truly effect that change.  Have patience with yourself and your significant other because as long as you tactfully communicate what it is you would like to see and you honestly listen to your other half when they speak in the same fashion, your relationship will grow and things will get better.  If nothing else, it’s beats starting over and over again each time with someone new and having to travel the same road with them each and every time.