Is Chivalry Dead or Just Hibernating?

When I was growing up, it was the true measure of a man to defend the honor of all ladies.  It was also the mark of distinction to open the doors for them, rise when they leave the table and return and allow them the first taste and the last bite.   I don’t think that this is prevalent anymore.  Did it change with Gloria Steinem or when Billie Jean King spanked Bobby Riggs in tennis?  Is it gone forever or will it make a comeback?

The only time that I see a gentleman is when he is trying to score points with the lady that he is with.  During the dating phase chivalry tends to take center stage but after the thrill of the chase is over, chivalry becomes just another bad word.  I can understand that some of these actions can not be shown all of the time and I do remember once getting my hat handed to me once when I tried to open the car door for a lady that I was with.  She reacted as if I had offended her and educated me on the fact that she is not fragile.  Needless to say, that relationship did not last very long but it did make me a little gun-shy when it came to opening doors for other women that I would later come in contact with.

I’m not sure where chivalry went but while it was around, there was a distinct respect for women every where I went.  There were truly some men that were truly gentlemen and they far out numbered those who weren’t.  Did the women give up on chivalry or did the men give up on themselves?  For me, seeing a man hold the door for a woman made me smile, I don’t smile for that reason much anymore.

Could it be the lady that you are with that dictates whether you will act the gentleman or not?  I mean, if you go to hold her chair, hold open a door or allow her to enter first; does she let you have it with both barrels?  Could it be men who allow their friends to dictate how they treat a lady?  I mean, they snicker when you do these things and think that it’s a sign or weakness.  That some how showing respect to females is a lack of masculinity?  Are we all becoming so small that we allow the thoughts of others to define us?

I don’t know if chivalry is dead and someone forgot to bury it or that it’s just hibernating and emerges during the dating phase only.  What I do know is that showing the proper respect to women and people in general is in itself a great reward.  Often times I have heard it said that if you want respect, you must first be willing to give it.  If this is true then it must also be true that how you treat another is exactly how you wish to be treated. I don’t have the answer but I do still enjoy the feeling of showing respect for another as it reflects the respect I have for myself.