Monogamy- The Art of Staying True

We often complain that men, in general, do not know how to keep it in their pants especially if that man who is caught cheating happens to be your man or a prominent social figure.  Well here is my story and it works quite well for me.  It must be made clear; however, just because it works for me it may not work for you but give it a try and see what happens.

When I was a younger man, searching for that perfect partner meant that she had to like the same things that I did, think the same way I did and was the answer to every dream that I had ever had.  This was immature at best and totally misleading.  I had thought that finding that perfect mate was going to be like it was on television, white picket fence and all.  Needless to say, I was so very wrong.  That perfect person does not exist except in our minds.  No relationship is without its trails and tribulation and only a relationship where both parties are willing to take on the storm together will ever amount to anything.

You hear so many say “but I am trying hard and the other is not” and to me that’s like telling someone whom has never had a bed to sleep in that sleeping on the floor is good for your back.  You can not tell anyone anything that they already know so instead trying to convince them that what they know is wrong, try an attempt at listening. 

My first piece of advice is to see every woman as a comparison to the lady in your life.  When I see another woman, the first thing that I say to myself is “my lady is better” you may be surprised to find that it really works and then no matter what happens next, you will find yourself craving the lady who is already in your life instead of this stranger you’ve just met.   You also need to watch more than the way she looks coming or going.  You need to look for the little things because it’s the little things that can harm a relationship and lead to bigger things.

The second thing that I do is inform my lady about every event that took place in my day.  I have found that she will see things that I missed and appreciate the fact that she walked with you during the time that you were apart.  If you try this and all that you get is grief, you might want to think about ending that relationship because you have just been privy to an insight where when you think that the both of you will stand together, you will end up standing alone.  Your partner must be willing to see you’re sharing as an opportunity to increase communication and bonding in your relationship and not view it as something you secretly want or desire.  When it comes to relationships the adage is true, “actions speak louder than words”.

The third and final thing that works quite well for me is honesty.  I know many speak about it but some of us really don’t know what it is.  It’s telling her to please not wear that when she ask you if it makes her look fat.  It’s saying you are right when she really is and meaning it.  It’s saying that you respect her opinion but you think differently.  It’s making sure that she knows that when you disagree it’s not about being right or wrong instead it’s what makes this relationship work because we can disagree without being disagreeable.  It’s telling her “I don’t know” when you really don’t.  It’s asking her what she thinks and being interested in what she has to say.  Honesty is tactfully telling her what you believe and not what you think she wants to hear or whatever will keep the grief down.  When you do that, you become untrue to yourself and it slowly eats away at you a little at a time.  Eventually it will morph into anger and instead of being angry with you; you will use displacement and take it out on her or anyone else around.  One has to be true to themselves before they can expect it from others.