Why we prefer a Lie over the Truth and how it can kill any Relationship

We prefer a lie over the truth because it is easier to deal with.  That lie then begins to infect the very foundation of any relationship because once it is accepted; you have to now justify it each and every day.  You have to remember that lie word for word and express it the exact same way, with the same emotion and expression that you used the first time or it will be discovered and everything you said or did after that will now be questioned.  The lie was just supposed to be a quick fix and not a permanent solution to an immediate problem but what now happens is that lie becomes the one and only reason for your downfall. 

So why do we prefer a lie over the truth, because a lie gives us a chance to re-invent ourselves and challenges our ability to be creative.  Even though we have to repeat it the same every time, the challenge of doing just that feeds our ego and transform us into whatever we see ourselves to be at that very time.  The truth scares the crap out of us because we believe that it exposes who we really are and since we don’t really know who that is, we are not sure if it will be a good thing or a bad one.  This is why we prefer a lie over the truth and the corruption it brings to everything we touch. Examples of this is grouped below, take a few minutes look them over and hear the lies you tell yourself.

A man will accept the idea that more money equals a happy life before he will even entertain the fact that living comfortably extends your life.  Let me say that again because I don’t think you heard me.  A man will accept the idea that more money equals a happy life before he will even entertain the fact that living comfortably extends your life.  If you refuse to accept the fact and embrace the lie, that means you are willing to do anything to achieve your goal.  This means maybe even willing to modify your beliefs, sell your humanity or even your soul to acquire that monetary goal.  The stress of getting there will not prove your toughest task and will never present as much of a challenge as staying there.  You will begin to ignore the benefits you experience in living and quickly trade that in for the corruption of just existing.

All that a man needs is a “good” woman but in order to find her he has to audition hundreds.  That’s a lie but it easier to accept than the truth which is a good woman does not make you a man, she makes you want to be a “good” man.  One of these comes with a built-in excuse if we choose to get distracted from our journey of making any relationship work.  We may begin in earnest trying to build a life with another but as time expires and days go by, we get lazy and begin to look at the issues that still exist instead of looking at the issues that have been solved.  The journey becomes harder, not because the rules of the road have changed but because we no longer wish to abide by the rules we had a hand in establishing in the beginning.  We want a short-cut now and start looking for one at every possible turn.

A “good” woman caters to you and does everything for you is a lie.  The truth is a “good” woman never sacrifices who she really is to please you.  She knows that in order to truly complete and enhances you; she must remain who she really is.  The beauty of catering and sometimes submitting to you is a privilege not a right.  We want to think that this happens because we demand it or because we were born the man but actually it’s only because they already know that in order to give you the desire to become a better man, she must offer you that opportunity from time to time.

A “good” woman will agree with me each and every time is a lie.  Truth be told, a “good” woman will support you each and Everytime but privately correct and sometimes over-rule you if the need arises. A better man is not one who possess or is accompanied by a robotic significant other.  A better man is one who can and is willing to compromise before complete strangers in order to grow.  A better man is not hatched or birthed but is slowly and carefully constructed.

A “good” man is defined by his providing for his family is a lie.  The truth is a “good” man is defined by his willingness to provide for his family.  Events may affect his ability to provide but that does not mean he is not willing to do so and therefore does not make him a “bad” man.    All men know what responsibilities are, it’s the few who is willing to carry them out that separates the good from the bad.

A “good” man listens to and understands their partner’s thoughts, hopes, dreams and an aspiration is a lie.  Truth, a “good” man remembers their partner’s thoughts, hopes, dreams and aspirations.   He remembers and acts in that manner to make sure he is delivering all that he believes are needed for his partner to achieve their goals.

A “good” man or woman wants everything for the other and nothing for themselves is a lie.  Truth again be told, they already know that wanting things for you benefits them just as much as it does you so the entire team wins instead of it being a solo victory.

I know my man or lady loves me because she holds my hand in public and is not afraid to show affection in public is a lie.  The reason they hold your hand or show affection in public is because they see the love you have for them Everytime they look into your eyes and often forget that they are in public when they wish to tell you without words that they love you too.

The truth frightens us and we shy away from being who we really are because we have never taken the time to get to know ourselves as well as we claim to know others.  We see others as more interesting and often times we think that treating them in a particular way will make others see us in that manner or fashion.   We want others to see us in a particular light and ignore that, in order for it to happen we need to carry ourselves in that light.  Give us a lie, so that we can construct, deconstruct and reconstruct ourselves as often as we feel the need to.  This is what makes us more willing to face other people because we hid so much of ourselves that we want to think that they will never know the difference.  This is the biggest lie we tell ourselves daily and it’s a lie because we refuse to accept the fact that others sees us more clearly than we see ourselves.  Now ask yourself, when has anyone been able to trust something or someone that they see clearly as one thing being another and would you?