Manns Medium

We prefer a lie over the truth because it is easier to deal with.   That lie then begins to infect the very foundation of any relationship because once it is accepted; you have to now justify it each and every day.   You have to remember that lie word for word and express it the exact same way, with the same emotion and expression that you used the first time or it will be discovered and everything you said or did after that will now be questioned.   The lie was just supposed to be a quick fix and not a permanent solution to an immediate problem but what now happens is that lie becomes the one and only reason for your downfall.   So why do we prefer a lie over the truth, because a lie gives us a chance to re-invent ourselves and challenges our ability to be creative.   Even though we have to repeat it the same every time, the challenge of doing just that feeds our ego and transform us into whatever we see ourselves to be at that very time.   The trut...

In an effort to make full disclosure, I must tell you now that I am not a licensed or expert relationship guru but what I do possess is possessed by all of us who wish to take just a few minutes to pay attention.   With that said, he in now beginith the lesson. Last night I was having a conversation with someone that I am strongly attempting to make my next “ex” and it centered on sexual fantasies which should be allowed and ones that shouldn’t.   The main sticking point was your partner’s fantasy of having sex with two men/women at the same time.   I had taken the stance that if that is something she wanted I would honor it by setting it up but could not be counted as one of the participants.   This confused her greatly and in my state of mind, I could not understand why.   She explained to me that if this was a fantasy of hers, she would appreciate me saying “no” and sticking with it.   She believes that saying “yes” would create the impression that ...

Many men can remember being told that a man doesn’t cry and to do this shows your weakness.   Some even believe that the male species carry the world on their shoulders; while I do not believe in either of these I have been wondering why the nation and the world have become even more violent than it was in the Wild Wild West Times.   Had a conversation with my significant other and asked her the question of why many women cry all the time.   She explained that tears are a release and they can represent completely different things.   They cry when they are sad, they cry when they are happy and they cry when they are mad.   This made me began to wonder if this world would be so violent had males been taught to cry instead. We know that the majority of this nation and world violence are started by and lead by males.   We know that in order to reduce our stress level we need to have a avenue to express our feelings but we also know that many males are bein...

Recently I have been running around telling everyone about a lesson that I learned which I believe keeps me in a decent mood much longer than I had ever experienced in quite some time.   To some I appear like I have lost my mind and considering my current situation, those who are really close to me seemed confused as to why I could have such a bright outlook on life. All my life I have tried to do what was right and having been told that this was the key to open any door, I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t.   I’ve had to close the doors to both my businesses and been unemployed since December 2009.   Since I worked for myself, I was not able to collect unemployment and lost my home, car and way.   At my age, moving in with family did not make it better but makes it worse because everyday I have to face the feeling of lost manhood as soon as my eyes open each day.   That was before I began to realize that all the hate which occupies any part of my mind and ...

Today, I was struck by a revelation which I had not thought of before.   I am a single father credited with raising 5 children with 3 more to go but it occurred to me today, an active parent and community member really can claim having a hand in raising more children than that number which exist only in your family.   Here is what I mean. Around the ages of 10 is when those children who are not biologically yours will feel the need to know about if not connect with their biological parents.   As one of the greatest influences in your children’s life you find your self presented with an opportunity to make that child stronger or destroyed.   To make that child stronger does not require demeaning their biological parents but it does mean explaining, as best you can, what the situation is or may have been to end with them living with you.   To destroy that child, fill their heads with demeaning and derogatory comments about their biological parents.   To make...

Simply I say yes but it should also be said to what degree.   I base this on conversations that I have had throughout the years from different people of all shape, sizes and color.   Each started projects but did not complete them and became even more distract with their positions because of it.   It became such a factor that I found myself surprised to find people who fail to complete projects in life that did complete high school. For many it is said that it’s more about the failure to focus on what it is that they wish to complete or envision the completion and follow through as a way of getting them past that hurdle.   I believe that it is a mixture of these things and more.   In addition to those previously mentioned, it is my belief that it can be a failure of those around them to point out when the task started has been completed and it is not celebrated as the huge victory that it is for people in this situation.   Failing at anything has a very sh...

was on the phone with my girlfriend and she was telling me about one of her closest friends.   I listen to her story and tried to help the situation from a male’s prospective.   After hanging up the phone, it occurred to me why some women may be more attracted to married or involved men than the single ones. One of the main reasons I think is jealousy.   Men give off this certain odor or vibe when they are truly committed to a relationship.    They no longer ogle every woman that enters within eye range nor do they exude that slobbering-at-the-mouth type aroma when any woman says hi to him.   It’s the type of attitude which enjoys a conversation with another woman without spending all that time looking down her blouse may cause some   women to feel more respected instead of a sex-object.   This enjoyment soon becomes something else even though they know or soon learn that he is involved or married.   After making a conscientious decision to ...

First allow me to say that I am not an expert nor do I speak for any group, but what I can tell you is quite simple.   When many speak of race relations, they typically envision minorities.   I say that race relation is nothing more than another phrase for human relations.   Many Americans do not need or want a “hand-out”, all they request is an even playing field which should give them a “hand-up”. We are handcuffed by our past regardless of which past it may be.   To expect anyone to ignore their past as if anyone can switch off their experiences does not compute.   To ask an elder Jewish American to ignore all the pain and suffering they have endured or seen in their past as they exhibit apprehension dealing with a German American, will not work.   To some their past may not seem rational or important but to that particular person it could mean the world and will require all those not experienced in this manner a décor of empathy.   Dismissing ...

Most of us are aware of post partum depression but for those of us who don’t or can’t seem to remember, it is mostly regarding the feelings brought on by hormonal imbalances after giving birth.   Now since many men are not the ones giving birth, men seldom know exactly what they can do when our significant other is experiencing mood changes and major sadness among other symptoms.   Here are a few suggestions.   The first thing men must realize is how blessed we are by being given the most precious of gifts.    A little piece of heaven which will look to us for guidance and directions.   Someone that will love us unconditionally and reflect a little bit of us each time we look into their eyes.   Since post partum depression usually last for 1 year, men need to stay close by for at least that amount of time.   We need to relieve the mother of as many responsibilities as we can handle correctly.   It is often times not the big things that you d...

I’ve heard many parent ask the question of how they can get a better relationship with their children and to me the answer is quite clear.   I’ve heard parents say that they wish that they could connect better or that they could understand better.   The answer is as plain as the nose on your face. Parents stop lying.   Yes, that’s it.   Too simple?   Of course who in their right minds would think that a problem which has plagued parenthood for decades would be as simple as parents stop lying.   How do you know if you are lying?   If you have got to ask yourself that question, then you have already lied.   I grow tired of hearing parents say that they work so hard to give their kids the things that they did not have.   That’s a lie.   You think your child wants a train set because they showed a little interest or is it really because you wanted one when you were little.   You take your children to certain places only because you wis...

We often complain that men, in general, do not know how to keep it in their pants especially if that man who is caught cheating happens to be your man or a prominent social figure.   Well here is my story and it works quite well for me.   It must be made clear; however, just because it works for me it may not work for you but give it a try and see what happens. When I was a younger man, searching for that perfect partner meant that she had to like the same things that I did, think the same way I did and was the answer to every dream that I had ever had.   This was immature at best and totally misleading.   I had thought that finding that perfect mate was going to be like it was on television, white picket fence and all.   Needless to say, I was so very wrong.   That perfect person does not exist except in our minds.   No relationship is without its trails and tribulation and only a relationship where both parties are willing to take on the storm toget...

When I was growing up, it was the true measure of a man to defend the honor of all ladies.   It was also the mark of distinction to open the doors for them, rise when they leave the table and return and allow them the first taste and the last bite.    I don’t think that this is prevalent anymore.   Did it change with Gloria Steinem or when Billie Jean King spanked Bobby Riggs in tennis?   Is it gone forever or will it make a comeback? The only time that I see a gentleman is when he is trying to score points with the lady that he is with.   During the dating phase chivalry tends to take center stage but after the thrill of the chase is over, chivalry becomes just another bad word.   I can understand that some of these actions can not be shown all of the time and I do remember once getting my hat handed to me once when I tried to open the car door for a lady that I was with.   She reacted as if I had offended her and educated me on the fact that sh...

Being from a primarily single mother household myself, I have begun to pay close attention to my actions and those of men I know who were raised with a strong male figure in their lives.   This observation and introspection has only recently been first on my mind as I’ve tried to figure out why children act the way that they do.   In an effort of full disclosure, it must be made clear that I am not an expert in this field but life experience does allow me some insight.   I am convinced that many of us born and raised primarily by a strong female tend to have a better understanding of women and are more sensitive than many who have not.   I am convinced that many of us are not afraid to stop in ask for directions and less afraid to admit when we are wrong.   I am convinced that many of us wish to have as much information as possible before making a decision about anything and in our later years are much more cautious about any action we take.   I am convince...