The Question about Relationships

Many people seemed quite confused about the value of a relationship, any relationship, so today I would like to try and help some understand what makes relationships.

For some it’s the interaction, for others it’s the distance you travel mentally and emotionally and for others it’s the results at the end of the day.  Believe it or not relationships are those things and so much more but the common thread that holds it all together is past experience.

An example is in my past I met a real true angel named Susan.  She showed me what life, love and happiness was all about.  I did not know that then because I had never experienced it before.  I thought it was all about choosing a mate and sticking with them through thick and thin but when it became apparent that it was solely my idea and not one shared by those sharing a relationship with me, that idea soured.  Because that was my only idea of a relationship, I flopped around like a fish out of water for years.  Taking any kind of relationship that I could get and reading about relationships as often as I could.  I’d see older couples together and wanted what they had but nothing I read told me how to get it.  That was when I began to settle and because of that entered a rut that I would lavish in for many years to come.  Susan brought me out of that and through her; I began to see that communications was not the key but a major part of relationships.  It was honest communications which was the foundation. 

When you have honest communications, you can then began to build faith and trust in a relationship but if you cannot be honest with the party involved in this journey with you, it will lack the best of all other ingredients.  To be able to tell the person you are with your fears, your desires, your wishes and your dreams without them laughing at you, belittling you and discouraging you is a God-send and the beginning of something so special that of which poems and songs are written.  Now you can move more toward trust because you now know that what is said between you two shall remain there and anything you wished to remain secret shall never be revealed.  Now you can move toward faith that the person with whom you share will guard your secrets as if it was their own and in return you then guard theirs.

All this does not and never will happen overnight and will take some a lifetime to acquire.  For me and so many others we are sometimes blessed to have this chance and recognize it as such.  For others they run into this opportunity but are so focused on something else that we miss that great big neon sign pointing the way, leading us out of our rut and into a glorious existence that dreams are made of. 

There have been many special people in my life and being around them has made me a better man but for those who have come and gone, they had but one challenge.  They had to live up to the standard set by Susan some twenty years earlier and whether that was fair or not, that was the way it was.  I settled because I had my little taste of heaven and figured that I would never get a chance at another bite of that apple.  I was wrong because God works in mysterious ways and I was able to reunite with her again.

I was given a chance to make her something that I should have so very long ago.  I made her my wife and this, my friends, is the question about relationships.  Do you continue to assume that what you have is all you deserve or do you keep the faith that if you learn from your past and look hard to discover the signs that God will bring that special someone who cannot be described by words or actions but simply by feelings?  Is there honest communications between you and the ones you share with and if there is not, can you get to the point where this is the case.  If you want a fulfilling and sweet relationship, began first with honest communications and everything else will fall into place.  There will always be some drama because without it, lesson cannot nor will not ever be learned but honest communications will demise those dramatic situations greatly.  Never be afraid to cry out when you’re in pain and never be afraid to ask for and accept the help from someone with a burning desire to lend a hand.  Often times its those closest to us whom we hurt the most but it’s those who truly care who will return to aid you always.  Be grateful for what you have before you began to dream of what you don’t because what you have can be multiplied 100 times while what you don’t can only be used once.

Relationships grow stronger when both are looking to advance it and if honest communications exist, everyone involved will know who is willing and who is not.  Separation is not the end of anything it is the beginning of everything.  Knowledge and acceptance of what went wrong is a wonderful thing but the best thing is knowledge and acceptance of what went right.